Escape to a Much Happier Coastal City

I'm sitting in front of my computer screen as if the life has been drained out of me; delving deeper into depression with each newswire or blog post that I read. To help turn things around, I thought I would try and change the subject to something light. Something like, say, The O.C.

Let's just get it out in the open right now: The O.C. is my favorite show on television. I love it! And it's not a so-bad-it's-good kind of love. It's more like a so-good-that-I'm-telling-you-it's-my-favorite-show-on-tv-when-technically-I-should-be-embarrased-that-I-watch-it kind of love. The O.C. is just plain GOOD. If you don't agree, you haven't seen it. That's right, I said it. There are few audience members that The O.C. cannot woo, few cold hearts it cannot penetrate. Here's how:

Bitchy teenage girl (even at heart)? The outfits, the hair, the boys, the beach... I don't need to tell you why you'll love this show. But Marissa Cooper's attempts to piss off her mother are some of the most effective you'll ever see.
Indie-rock comic book-loving 35 year old? Watch Seth Cohen relive your past but with more money, better writing and a girlfriend.
Drunken frat boy/Aging drunken frat type? Ryan, the kid from the wrong side of the tracks, gets into lots of fights. Marissa, his hot girlfriend, gets into a lot of drinks... and pills... and trouble.
Desperate housewife? Choose between evil Julie Cooper, who sleeps with her daughter's boyfriend while simultaneously marring the richest man in Newport, or good-girl Kirsten Cohen, who drowns her lustful sorrows in Pinot Grigio when the principled magazine editor with whom she wants to become an adulterer gets away.
Capitalist pig? These people are Filthy Rich - the richest family in Newport Beach.
Tree-hugging liberal? Sandy Cohen is a Jew who fought for civil rights at Berkeley before becoming a public defender/surfer and adopting a tough kid from the wrong side of the tracks.

I could go on and on... have a gay dad? lost money in the stock market? considering a lesbian affair? like Death Cab for Cutie? been to a Scorpions concert? been visited by an unwelcome family member? love Star Wars or Wonder Woman? ...there is something in this show for you.

I started watching the show by accident. About two years ago I was putting off a writing assignment (read: lying face down on the carpet, wailing about how I'm stupid and worthless and don't know how to do this job), when I decided to take a "tv break." It was a Saturday afternoon and the FX network was trying to promote the then new show by running an all-day marathon of recent episodes. I came in on episode one and didn't stop until it was over about six hours later. OK, that's an exaggeration. I did stop to take a "writing break" during the episode where they went to Vegas. I still regret it. I have no idea what the hell I was writing - whether I finished it, whether it was published, whether it was good - but to this day I think about how I haven't seen that Vegas episode, pondering all I might have missed.

I know, I know, I could just Netflix Season One, but it's not the same. I'll never have another chance to see the first episodes, in order, for the first time. But you still have the chance. Just watch it. Although Season Three began last night, I recommend starting with Season One and moving on from there. No one has to know, and you don't have to thank me. When I run into you on the street one day and you are humming the unabashedly cheesy but catchy "California" theme song, it will be thanks enough.

And if you could maybe tell me what happened while they were in Vegas? That would be great.

I don't think anyone could have predicted that this baby would make my belly swell...

By now everyone is aware of the brilliant W. quote, "I don't think anyone could have anticipated the breech of the levees." But please allow me to dwell for a moment because, of all the grammar-busting idiocies that have emenated from that sneer, this statement takes the prize for Most Retarded.

Why? Smarter bloggers than I have pointed out that a breech of the levees has been anticipated for at least 100 years, if not hundreds more. But that can be chalked up to region-specific obsessive paranoia. What makes me sure that this event was widely anticipated is the fact that I was anticipating it. I, the mirror-obsessed, latte-swilling, blue-hearted blue stater, who has never been to the Big Easy and could not care less, knew all about this thing three years ago. I read and viewed stories, in Harper's and on NOW, about how New Orleans was going to get washed away. At the time, I really didn't care. I chalked the coverage up to liberal media bitching about problems for the sake of bitching. Who knew that stories in Harper's could be so relevant? So prescient? (Whereas the August/September 05 issue of poor Budget Living, a magazine where I still semi regret turning down a job, had a story about a burgeoning hip neighborhood in Nawlins where you can still snatch up a little bungalow for a mere $300k.) The point is, many, many people did anticipate the breech of the levees, and have been working for years if not decades to do something about it. His simplistic, aw-shucks view of everything is just embarrassing.

If you are feeling exhausted by Katrina and ready to bash (or just get really depressed about) the Administration on some other fronts, take a look at The San Francisco Bay Guardian's 10 Biggest Stories the Mainstream Media Ignored Over the Past Year (lest you decry the liberal media again, the list was actually composed by Project Censored, a media watchdog org from Sonoma - that's liberal intelligentsia - ahem, get it straight). Some of the items freak me out more than others. But I have to admit that the one I'm currently buying into is the stolen 2004 election. In the past 10 months or so, whenever Herr Guitar started spouting stolen election paranoia (and it has been often), I've sort of yawned it off and politely changed the subject back to me. But in catching up on some Harper's reading on my vacation last week, I read None Dare Call it Stolen , and I'm an election-conspiracy convert. If you think, like I did, that the whole argument is rooted is sore-loserdom, just read the first few paragraphs - I dare you - and see if you aren't swayed.

One last Katrina tidbit... I've found the news coverage about animals being saved from the flood waters just the slightest bit distasteful. I love my dog just as much as Oprah and Matthew McConaughey, but to me it seems like the news media's way of putting an adorable face on victims they otherwise don't want to look at. Plus, watching dogs get saved in style while there are still people that need to get out of there is just wrong. My Vegas friend said to me this morning (in her pricelessly callous style), "I care more about the dogs than I do the people. That's why I haven't been watching the news, because if I see one dog in danger I will freak out." Is she the typical American? Maybe that's why those 10 stories are being ignored.