I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

It's almost May, which means one thing: sweeps. That's when the TV networks throw out their best stuff to see what sticks with audiences. Sweeps occur a few times a year, in February, May and November. And networks usually build up to sweeps a couple of weeks prior, to get audiences hooked. How do I know about sweeps? I'm an avid TV watcher. You can always tell when they are on the way, because the advertising starts getting a little more tense ("The MOST SHOCKING EPISODE EVER!," "Our MOST SUR-PRIS-ING ROSE CEREMONY YET," "And ONE PERSON WILL NOT COME OUT ALIVE," etc.), characters start having pregnancy scares or break-ups or deaths, and Deal or No Deal starts playing in heavy rotation.

But the surest way to tell that sweeps are coming: Dateline NBC ambushes Internet predators in some house in the suburbs. Have you seen this? The unassuming, mild-mannered schlub arrives at a tract home with a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade to meet the hot new 13-year-old he just met on the Internet, only to find a camera crew and the stiff, styled and baritoned reporter Curtis Hansen asking (in perfect cadence) "What were you thinking?"

Tonight Hansen sets his sights on rural small-town America, the kind of place where he grew up. Here's how he describes it on his blog: "There’s farmland and a quaint downtown. Four people can still have dinner out for less than 50 bucks and you don’t have to look hard for the Wal-Mart and the feed store." Sounds lovely, right? No way you'd find some sex freak trolling for tweens there.

Don't be so sure, says Hansen.

I saw a teaser for tonight's episode on the Today show this morning, and they snare a sixth grade teacher who has seen this type of thing on Dateline before. He even admits to thinking, "What are these guys thinking?" while watching. And now look where he is. What gives? Is becoming an Internet predator that slippery a slope? How could this once decent, Dateline watching citizen fall so far, so fast?

Dateline does this about twice a year, so people must love it. But it makes me sick to my stomach. Sure, these guys are total creeps, but on the spectrum of good and evil, this type of exploitative sting operation seems almost as wrong as the crime. It's certainly as distasteful. I agree that something should be done about Internet predators, Oprah has scared me straight on that front (no Swaddlini, you cannot have a Web cam. Because I said so, that's why!). And I'm glad that the authorities are there to book these guys after Hansen's cameras have had their way with them, but there's something pornographic about the whole display. And not in a good way.

That is why my evening will be spent watching America's Next Top Model.