Doing Feminism Justice!

Oh Harriet Miers, you are my new favorite female trailblazer! Finally, a working woman I can relate to. With your top-notch writing skills and sharp intellect, who could not have guessed you'd be destined for the highest court in the land as soon as you began your stint as the go-to source for dishing daily pop-aganda as Dear Ms. Ask the White House. (I had no idea that Barney the White House dog liked to push horseshoes around with his nose. Can't you just picture how adorable that must be?).

So what if the rumor mill says you can't delegate or make a decision. I can relate. Like so many of us gals, you are a people pleaser, an approval junkie. And hey, you never forget a birthday. Isn't that what really counts?

Besides, the Supreme Court is about judgment, and no one can fault yours. Case in point: David Frum confesses that you are so in awe of George W., you once admitted to him that the Prez was the most brilliant man you had ever met. That is a keen observation, lady. But tell us truthfully, isn't some small part of you keeping your sexy sexagenarian self single in hopes that the Commander in Chief will someday swoon similarly in your direction? He certainly does his fair share of flirting: Granted, he has referred to you as a "pit bull in size 6 shoes," but at least he's paying attention to your dainty feet (BTW, I'll trade you my humongous 8 1/2s, any day!). And how about that time you two were together on 9/11 and he said you had "Good hustle." That compliment's way hotter than, say, "You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie."

Oh come on, don't be coy - everyone knows you can't wait for W. to bench you! You know what they say, to get a sense of a woman's true inner thoughts, judge not by her eyes but by her eye makeup.